Part of living in any community is dealing with people. Most people are usually pretty reasonable to deal with however just like obesity there has been another secret menace plaguing 21 century society, Narcissism.
I spent quite a bit of time researching this one and found a really good book on the subject by the tennis pro/ science teacher Kathy Krajco. She describes her self as the adult child and sister of a Narcissist, so she knows them quite well. She used to maintain a blog up until her death in 2008. She wrote a book which is a good plain english account of why narcissists do what they do and how they do it. Her book is available online and here too.
Narcissists generally operate in the same way.
Lies and manipulation.
Threats and coercion.
Generally only have three facial expressions bored, happy and angry.
Their responses to you may seem weird like laughing at a dead kitten, and they do this to shock you and then make a psychological attack of some kind.
They are generally lazy and selfish and constantly criticize others to make them selves appear better in comparison.
They do not accept criticism well at all.
They generally hide behind a public face which they attempt to create, to hide their true self. They generally only reveal their true nature when that attack and they do this as secretly as possible.
Quite often they are incompetent or have mediocre skills because they have had a life time of getting other people to do all the real work.
The bottom line is you cant work with narcissists, co-operation is not in their nature, they simply don’t want to share anything fairly.
For the narcissist all they worry about is their public face and what else they can get out of any situation or person, morals just don’t matter to them.
Narcissists will be at least somewhat nomadic not staying in the same place/job/relationship for very long, because of the fear of or result of being exposed.
For the religious readers you might wish to think of narcissists as ‘demons in human form’.
Link to Kathy Krajco’s book ‘What makes narcissists tick’ 4.19Mb
npd Kathy Krajco ‘What makes Narcissists tick’ 2007 4.19Mb